Rocky

The first and the last movie; that's all you need. Maybe the third one too... throw the rest in the dust bin. I love this bit from the last movie Rocky Balboa. To me, this really is what it's all about (sorry for the long quote):

"You ain't gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. I'd hold you up to say to your mother, 'this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew, and you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother."

Musicians

I'm interposing another musician here before I move on with the transcription of the interview I did with my dad because as I wrote that last post - I was reminded of Elliot Smith.

I recalled when I found out my dad had cancer - I was renovating my basement at the time - doing it myself - spending longs hours down there working and listening principally to XO but I eventually moved on to the rest of his albums.

The reno took about 8 months - working evenings and weekends - and it was a melancholy time not just because my dad was dying - but also because the summer before that I had lost one of my best friends to suicide.

XO is such a sweet and sad album and Elliot smith was such a brilliant songwriter - that album and his voice, always sounding like it was shattered - like he was crushed and broken from loss - got me through my own sadness. I felt like some else knew the secret joy of being terribly, terribly sad and admitting it and letting it out.

I was able to let it out because of his songs. Funny - those 8 months went by excruciatingly slow but thanks to those songs - they were bearable - R.I.P. ES and dad.

Meaning

There are large meanings and small meanings. I have so many small meanings in my life to keep me endlessly fascinated - work, my friends, my band, watching my daughter dance, watching my other daughter play guitar, sharing a glass of wine with my wife and dreaming about our future together. But when I think on the larger meanings - life, death, the planet, the species - I'm dumbfounded sometimes, at a loss to find any.

Carl Sagan said that we are a way for the cosmos to know itself. I've lost friends and family... and it can be trying to scrape out meaning from life sometimes - especially in the face of loss. But I keep coming back to that Sagan quote. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel like I am part of something so much bigger than anything I can imagine or have imagined thus far. This notion generates in me the possibility of meaning - and that is enough I find... and it may be all I'll ever be able to honestly admit to extracting from life - if not meaning itself. But it is enough. Thank you Carl Sagan.

Guitars

Yeah. Oh yeah. A new guitar is what I need. I only have two - one acoustic and one electric... both Epiphones. Disgraceful. I mean they're great guitars - both of them, but it's time to branch out. My acoustic is an AJ45 with sunburst finish - that's the one right above the text here. My electric is a Casino with Bigsby tremolo - just below. I use the acoustic around the house to plunk around on and maybe write a song or two. The Casino is my band guitar and I really love the range on sounds I can get out of it. But like I said - I could do with another one. Guitar that is.

But what to get. The Casino is versatile - with the bridge pick up it's got excellent round, fat jazzy tones if that's what you're looking for, but it's also got a nice rockabilly twang with a good basey bottom end on the neck pick up - but it some times peters out in the high end notes - not a real shredder. Not that I'm looking for a shredder. Well, let me put that another way. Not that I could do a lot of shredding - even if I had a real shredder. But it might be nice to have a real shredder anyway.

So what to choose? Well for a long time I've wanted a Telecaster. It's the ultimate twang guitar - and capable of real hard rock fuzz.

On the other hand a Gibson Les Paul is the ultimate shredder. If you're not familiar with the Les Paul sound - think opening chords of Anarchy in the UK - or Slash's staccato bit at the opening of Sweet Child O mine - you get the idea. (for the record I'm not a GNR fan).

But there are other guitars I've had my eye on for a while. Two in particular. The Mosrite and the Gretsch Duojet. The Mosrite is an obscure guitar used by two of my favourite guitar players of all time - both with completely distinctive sounds: Johnny Ramone and Ricky Wilson. Polar opposites right? But the same guitar is used for both the meaty punk fuzz of the Ramones and the clean, barre chord simplicity of early B-52s.

It also happens to be the guitar the Ventures used. The problem with the Mosrite is that it's really hard to find - there is only one distributor for all of North America as far as I can tell and he happens to be located in Las Vegas - and he doesn't take phone calls. It appears you pretty much have to get to Vegas some how to check out his stock.. Also, according to his website he's the only legal seller of true Mosrites and fakes abound everywhere. So what to do?

The other (and last) great guitar that I've contemplated acquiring is the Gretsch Duo Jet, made famous by none other than George Harrison. It's the guitar sound most associated with the early "Beatles doing covers" era (think Dizzy Miss Lizzy) - I love the look of these guitars and of course the fact that a Beatle owned one is reason enough for me to want it. But I do wonder if its sound is not somewhat similar to the Casino. At any rate it is a cool looking guitar and leans more towards the rockin' than the twang.

Decision, decisions.